Planning a Same Sex Wedding? Let us Help
Planning a wedding can be demanding for any couple but it would be unfair to ignore the unique circumstances that couples planning LGBTQ+ weddings may have to face. With most couples framing their planning process around often old-fashioned traditions, these don’t always translate well for same sex couples.
Traditions will be on your mind a lot when planning your special day with much of these still present in the industry today. Traditions relating to paying for the wedding, choosing outfits, wedding party roles as well as simply walking down the aisle can come with a lot of pressure and we want to help…
So, before we go any further – Congratulations and let’s put your mind at ease before planning a celebration to remember.
Footing the Bill
First of all, nobody likes talking money especially when it involves family. We’ve all heard of the old tradition that the brides family pays for the big day and of course this is something that is not only out of date but also isn’t helpful for same sex couples. Modern weddings often involve the couple themselves taking on the finances but if you are lucky enough to have people who want to chip in you simply need to let them decide what they can afford and what elements of the day they feel most drawn to. There is no need to put pressure on yourselves or any family or friends, so just let them decide what involvement they would like and then get started on the fun tasks of browsing different options and trying things out!
In the run up to the big day there is often plenty of additional celebrations such as hen or stag parties. This is something that you should plan in accordance with your own preferences as a couple. The typical things associated with these events (some that we may not want to think too much about…) can be just as fun for same sex couples and if you want to come up with your own fun traditions for hen/stag parties then I’m sure everyone in attendance will love that too! As for the traditional separate parties for bride & groom, same sex couples can stick to this or how about one big joint celebration? We think that could be amazing!
First and foremost, it’s important that you feel amazing on your big day and this starts with being comfortable in your attire. If you feel comfortable in a suit, go for it if you want a lavish over the top gown go for it! A main concern could be the fear of ‘upstaging’ one and other but instead think about how you can ensure your outfits complement each other and create a cohesive wedding look. You can do this through the little details, for example if you both opt for a suit then you can co-ordinate in your ties or pockets squares or you may choose to do this through floral accessories such as your bouquets or your boutonnieres, there are so many options and as we’ve said before – Just do what feels right for you as a couple.
Your Wedding Party
When it comes to making decisions about your wedding party the easiest way to look at it is who do you want by your side on that special day, who has supported your relationship the most? Once you have decided on these individuals you don’t need to worry too much about anything else, you don’t need to split them at either side of the altar based on their gender or encourage them to walk down the aisle in a certain way just do what feels right.
Alternatively, if you want to avoid this decision entirely that’s okay too! We want to remind you that planning your big day has no rules and as long as the day is tailored to you and your partner and focuses on celebrating your union, that’s all that matters!
Walking Down the Aisle
This is another thing that is very much heavily reliant on old fashioned traditions that fail to accommodate same sex couples. This is again something that you have complete freedom to decide on yourself and there are many ways you can do it, you can both be escorted down the aisle at the same time by someone special or you may wish to stick with one person waiting at the end of the altar for the other. If the decision does become too difficult, some same sex couples also choose to walk down the aisle together and we love this idea!
Like everything else we have spoken about we encourage you to remember that there really is no right or wrong when it comes to deciding on any name changes. If you choose to enter your marriage with a joint surname there are a few ways you could do it, you may be able to hyphen them together, blend them in some way or even create a unique and meaningful last name just for the two of you and your future family to hold. Alternatively, you may have a stronger connection to one family or have personal reasons as to why one of your last names might be taken, whatever it might be the new joint name will be so special!
However, changing your last name is not essential to forming a legal marriage and in no way diminishes your new union so if this is something you don’t feel strongly about then forget about it and continue into your new lives together with the names you already have.
It may be easier said than done but remember to focus on the purpose of the day which is celebrating your amazing love story! Try your best not to let any outside opinions affect you and as for the traditions, if you like the idea of them that’s great but don’t feel like these need to be a part of your day in any way!
The RAD Hotel Group would like to wish you all the very best in your wedding planning journey and would like to remind you that you are always welcome to get in touch with our team for any enquiries and to book a personal showround at any of our 5 gorgeous wedding venues.